Hey Min!
“I'd like to share my story about my dog Mindy and my experience of having to put her to sleep in the hope that it will help somebody who is facing that difficult decision. I had Mindy since she was a 9 week old, little ball of fluff (rough collie mix) right up until she was 14 years old, so she was a huge part of our family for all those years. She was very intelligent and was tuned into everything that was going on at home. She even kept our 4 cats in check. If there was a little squabble brewing, she was onto it and would round them up like sheep! It was really funny to watch. I was home a lot, and Mindy was my little pal, she followed me everywhere, especially when she became deaf. In the last year of her life she was diagnosed with a cancerous growth on her leg and there was nothing the vet could do other that keep her comfortable and pain free, so that was what we did. I knew the time was coming for her to go and I wished she'd just pass away in her sleep but the vet said that this would be unlikely to happen. So, I would think “how do I do this!!!”, “how do I know when it’s the right time?” Then a friend gave me the Solace website address and I spoke to Annie, and she listened as I poured out my story about how I was struggling with it all. She gave me great support and told me to trust my feelings and to watch Mindy, as she'd let me know when she'd had enough and the vet supported that too. Mindy did let me know; she started refusing to take her medication and I knew that she was letting me know that it was time. I made an appointment with the vet and talked over how I would like it to be for her. Mindy trusted me and I wanted to get it right for her. I brought her little duvet with me on 'the day' and I stroked her face, telling her she was alright. Then the vet gave her the injection and said she was gone. Then we wrapped her in her little blanket and I sat with her for a while, it was very peaceful. A few weeks later, I gave a print out of the Solace website to the vet and she was delighted with it. She said that while they do everything they can for the animal, she often feels helpless looking at the person walking out the door broken hearted, whereas now she can pass on the website to them. I would really recommend that anyone who has to have a pet put to sleep to give Solace a call."
Liz (Co. Dublin)
My Bessie Girl
“I wish to thank Solace for the time, help and support I received after my dog Bess was killed by a train.
Bess was a black and white Wicklow collie. She arrived at our house at the age of 4 weeks and from the moment she came into our family, we fell in love with her. I had lost my 5 year old daughter Sarah a few years before and so Bess brought life back into our home and family. She was someone to come home to.
Late in life, Bess had five puppies. She was a very good mother but having pups at a late age was hard on her so I had to help her with the night feeding. Every night, Bess would wake to the cries of the puppies, give each of them a lick and then toddle back to bed leaving ME to do the feeding! When the time came, we found good homes for all the puppies but kept one for ourselves, we called him Ringo.
One Saturday, Bess, Ringo (and his brother Jake) were going for a walk with my husband and Jake’s owner. This walk included going past a section of the Wicklow train track. Bess and the pups were walking on ahead when suddenly they ran up onto the track just as the train was coming around the corner. When my husband and Jake's owner saw what was happening they ran after the dogs but could not reach them in time. Then Bess realised the danger and ran the puppies clear of the track but unfortunately did not make it off herself. She was hit by the train, knocked over onto the rocks and killed instantly. When my husband arrived back and told me what had happened I could not believe my Bess was never coming home again. My heart was broken. It was like losing my daughter all over again.
Then one day I met Annie from Solace and I told her what happened and how I was still struggling with it all. It is amazing how much relief you can get from just being able to talk to someone about your feelings. Even though this accident happened many years ago, I never felt I got it out of my system. It is great that Solace is there to help people who are suffering from loss, even when it happened a long time ago.”
Bernie (Co. Wicklow)
“I lost my horse Milly some time back and found it very difficult to talk openly about it. I had her from when she was 6 months old. She was a wonderful animal, full of life and stroppy at times! I spent every day with her, grooming, feeding, and mucking out. When she took ill, it was painful to watch her deteriorate and when I was told by the vet that she would have to be put down, I was devastated. Having to make the decision to end her life broke my heart. Milly was only 5 years old. When you love an animal for so long, losing them can be very hard and people who aren’t animal lovers don’t always view it as bereavement, so you can be left feeling very alone. Most people at some time will loose a cherished friend of the four-legged kind and it is great to have the support of a counselling service. Solace is a very valuable resource and I would definitely recommend it.”
Ann Marie (Co. Carlow)
“My mum suggested that I get in touch with Solace. She passed me on the details but it took me some months to build up the courage to call. She suggested that I first send an email to tell them a bit about Leno, my little dog that was killed on the road in front of me. I also sent a couple of pictures so they could see what he looked like.
Leno was half JRT and half Cairn terrier and he used to chase anything that moved: cats, moths, and especially squirrels! He used to race after them in the park and almost run up the tree trunk to try to get them but of course they were way too fast for him, even though he was very, very fast, and very graceful. He used to run with a very fluid motion, like a whippet. Leno’s name came from the song "Poor Leno" by a band that I love called Röyksopp.
On the day of the accident, it all happened so quickly. I parked outside my house and was getting out of the car, reaching behind the drivers seat to get my shopping. Leno was sitting on the passenger seat. These guys called over to me and asked how to open the bonnet of their car (which was the same as mine) and I gestured to the floor in front of the passenger seat. Leno must have thought that I was beckoning him to get out and he jumped over the driver’s seat and out of the car. I turned and tried to grab his collar but it slipped off and he went under the rear wheel of a passing van. Less than a metre from where I was standing. I was absolutely distraught. To see him die, in pain, in front of me and for there to be nothing I could do, was devastating. Leno was only 3 when he died.
People have been very kind and continue to be very sympathetic but I can tell that in the back of some people’s minds they’re thinking for goodness sake, he was only a dog. It’s not as though he was a real person. Only someone who has had a dog knows what a joy they are and how difficult the loss is: there is still a huge hole in my life where Leno used to be.
When I spoke to the Solace counsellor I didn’t have to explain or justify the extent of my grief; I knew she understood. Just taking the first step was an enormous relief and I am grateful to have Solace to support me through the loss.”
Carla (London)
My Dog in A Million
When my beloved Labrador Hexe died suddenly last year after a very short illness, I was devastated. She died unexpectedly after an operation and I did not even have the chance to say ‘good bye’ to her. The last thing I did, was to push her into the cage at the surgery and that is something any dog lover would find hard to bear. She was only 7 ½ years old and she was my dog in a million. Losing her like that was unbearable and whilst friends commiserated for my loss, my grief knew no end. I tried to put on a brave face, but I felt a part of me had been torn away.
Quite by chance I had seen an article in a newspaper regarding Solace Pet Bereavement shortly before my beloved died, and I eventually made contact. Right from the beginning when I heard Annie’s comforting and compassionate voice, I knew I was in good hands. With her help, my tears were allowed to flow and I could work through the grief I had been bottling up. Over the next few months we were in regular contact until eventually I knew I had learnt to cope with all aspects of this loss.
For anyone going through the trauma of pet bereavement, I can’t emphasize enough the benefits of contacting Solace for guidance through a painful period in one’s life. I know I’m grateful for the help I received.
Stefanie (Co. Waterford)
“I contacted Solace as a bit of a long shot, not thinking that, in the circumstances, they could help. I recently took in a stray, hoping I could find a place in a rehoming shelter for him. Sadly, they are so full of unwanted animals that none of those I phoned could take him and I felt at the time my only option was the pound. However, as I couldn't bear to bring him to the pound myself a family friend kindly offered. I was absolutely devastated, feeling I had let him down. I was doing some subsequent research on the net in the hope that I could still help him, when I came across Solace. I phoned straight away, feeling that perhaps the people there would understand my upset. I spoke to a counsellor and she completely understood how I felt and did not make me feel a half-wit for getting incredibly upset. I'm sure that any non "doggie" folks reading this will raise their eyes skywards and think "get a life", but dog people will empathise - it’s a painful loss.
However, when I contacted my friend it transpired that when they arrived at the pound and the jeep door was opened, the dog bolted and could not be caught - I actually smiled when I heard this - he is such a bright fellow and has great heart. Hearing this renewed my spirit. Although the pound in question was in a semi-rural area, I knew the dog was smart enough to head for the nearest town. So, with a full tank of petrol, I headed off and after an hour or so of searching, I spotted him! Needless to say, he is at home with me now, snoozing on the sofa. And he isn't going anywhere! As to his name, well, I have two other rescue dogs, a Jack and a Teddy so it could only be one name really...... Bobby!”
Bernadette (Co. Wicklow)
Oscar was my little friend for nearly 5 years, the most happy, inquisitive, playful, sensitive and loving little rabbit anyone could ever meet. I loved him the minute I saw him - up to all sorts of antics in the pet shop. Oscar made me laugh at a time when I was going through a very personal loss, so for my birthday the following day, a friend showed up with a rabbit hutch and before I knew it those big brown eyes had melted my heart and Oscar had bounced into my life!
I was living in an apartment at the time but luckily there was a big wild garden at the back and some green in the front too. Oscar was never put out by the neighbourhood cats and loved acting the party clown at next doors BBQ's. He was never left out of anything and when friends called they always got the full nosey welcome of going through their bags and sniffing round in circles. Everyone had to give him the obligatory rubs before conversation could begin.Oscar was about 6 months old when I got him and as he had only been given cheap non-nutritious food at the pet shop, he refused to eat hay and vegetables. He eventually got to like one veg (broccoli) but the damage had been done and there was gum disease deep in the roots of his teeth.
When Oscar was about three and a half he stopped eating so I took him to my vet but he did not offer a good prognosis. He said that rabbits generally don’t respond well to antibiotics, anesthetics or medication so I decided to try a Homeopathic vet. Oscar was given a remedy and he began to thrive and for over a year he was the healthiest bunny alive. Then one morning I noticed not a morsel of food had been touched and my vet discovered an abscess under Oscar’s mouth. He did all he could to make Oscar pain free but the painkillers were having a damaging effect on his liver - it was a vicious circle.
As the week went by the abscess got bigger and bigger (I had been draining it each day) so my vet gave Oscar a pain killing injection and I headed down to the Homeopath - hoping for another miracle! The vet who had been treating Oscar wasn’t available but a trainee was there and she said Oscar would have to stay overnight. I felt awful as Oscar had never spent the night anywhere strange before and I had a gut feeling getting into the car that I'd never see him again! When I rang that evening the trainee told me that Oscar's teeth had been filed down. I couldn’t believe it and could only imagine the stress it must have caused him.
The next morning I spoke to the vet who had treated Oscar all year. He told me the news was bad and I broke down. Oscar loved life and had put up a great battle to survive. The drive down to collect Oscar was awful and when the vet handed him to me (wrapped in his blue blanket) I kept expecting to see his little nose peep out to let me know all was well. I cried for days and the guilt I had over leaving him to die alone was overwhelming. Luckily, I had friends who loved Oscar as much as me but I was afraid of what other people might think so I pretended everything was ok in work etc. In the end I thought I was going mad so I looked up pet loss on the Internet and came across Solace. I rang the number and was so relieved when I talked to Annie. She completely understood the loss - no matter whether it was dog, cat, parrot, rabbit or hamster. It really helped to talk with her and to read other people's stories on the Solace website.
I will always have rabbits as I love their energy but Oscar was 'my special one' and will never be forgotten.
Natasha (Co. Cork)
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